“Thoughts are simply thoughts, and it is your actions upon the thoughts that really matter.”
I would like to share two things that might help someone out! For a little over a year now, I’d been struggling with a subtype of OCD called relationship OCD through my the developing relationship between me and my boyfriend. It wasn’t until last summer, I started to get help for, not only the rOCD, but with other things I’d been struggling with for a while- such as low self worth and low confidence. Through getting help, there’s two things I’ve learned with both rOCD and getting help in general. Firstly, rOCD is something I don’t mention to many, due to the fact that it is something not all professionals know of. Having rOCD causes one to start questioning whether or not they really love their significant other, if they’re really the one for them; this causes unwanted thoughts about their significant other or the relationship. Thoughts that cause them to feel like they have to leave, such as “I don’t like what they said, does that mean I don’t like then anymore?”, “what if this doesn’t work out?”, or “what if I don’t find them attractive, that means I’ll have to leave.” These thoughts become distressing to point where you may have trouble focusing on anything else, you sleep more to avoid the thoughts, and lose the motivation to eat and take care of yourself and others. An unfortunate part is that it will come with you in any relationship you get into, unless you learn to heal. Through educating myself on it, and through getting help, I learned that many mental illnesses, just like OCD, are thoughts. Simply thoughts, and it is your actions upon the thoughts that really matter. Mental illnesses cause distortions in one’s mind that make it hard for them to decipher what is true and what is not, which is why learning is a huge part of healing.
Something else I learned related to rOCD, love is a choice and not a feeling. Feelings of being “in love” will always come and go, especially the longer you create a relationship with someone. This is something people with rOCD really struggle with, but it is important to realize that your choice to do something is much more important than going off of how you simply feel, because feelings are never the same all the time. The last thing I wanted to say is that through getting help, I’ve also been struggling with the fact that there are starting to be more names to the ways I think and experience. Such as suggestions to get tested for ADHD, showing symptoms of Imposter syndrome, and of discovering that I may have OCD thoughts not just at a relationship standpoint. This makes it really hard for me to feel like there’s not something wrong with me, and I am not normal or too much to handle. I struggle with the thought that I could be diagnosed with mental illnesses, and feeling like I’ve disappointed my parents through these potential diagnoses. So I just wanted to say something that I am still learning to believe: mental diagnosis is just putting a name to the way you already think, allowing a better understanding of how you can either heal from it, or learn to live with it. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, it just means your brain is wired differently, and many people can relate to you in those ways, because you’re not the only one.
-an anonymous entry
